Question

6．目前，中小學(xué)生過度使用手機或者電腦等電子產(chǎn)品，這對他們的身體造成了很大危害．談?wù)勀愕南敕ú⑻岢鼋ㄗh．要點如下：
    1．過度使用電子產(chǎn)品對身體有害；
    2．學(xué)生應(yīng)該以學(xué)習(xí)為主，同時要多參加各種有益活動等；
    3．…．
    注意：
    1、詞數(shù)100左右；
    2、可以適當(dāng)增加細節(jié)，以使行文連貫；
    3、開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計入總詞匯．
    參考詞匯：electronics（電子產(chǎn)品）
    As we know，cell phones and computers are common in our daily life．__________________

Answer 1

分析 本篇書面表達屬于提綱類作文，根據(jù)提示信息就中小學(xué)生過度使用手機或者電腦等電子產(chǎn)品，對身體造成了很大危害．談?wù)勀愕南敕ú⑻岢鼋ㄗh，寫作時注意以下幾點：1、仔細閱讀有關(guān)提示，弄清試題提供的所有信息，明確幾個要點：過度使用電子產(chǎn)品對身體有害；學(xué)生應(yīng)該以學(xué)習(xí)為主，同時要多參加各種有益活動等；個人見解 2、提綱是文章的總體框架，要在提綱的范圍內(nèi)進行分析、構(gòu)思和想象．要依據(jù)提示情景或詞語，按照一定邏輯關(guān)系來寫．本文寫作時可以按照要點所給的順序?qū)懀?、根據(jù)要表達的內(nèi)容確定句子的時態(tài)、語態(tài)；就本文而言應(yīng)該用一般現(xiàn)在時態(tài)．4．注意使用高級詞匯和句式，以增加文章的亮點．
【亮點說明】本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，層次分明，而且使用了多種表達：However，some students spend too much time on them，which，in turn does great harm to their health especially to their eyes．句中使用非限制性定語從句；
  In my personal view，the major task for students is to learn knowledge with various approaches，for which healthy body and mind is the base．句中使用介詞+which引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句；
Taking part in some rewarding activities like being volunteers to help the old is another good choice．句中使用動名詞作主語

解答 As we know，cell phones and computers are common in our daily life．They have brought us much convenience．However，some students spend too much time on them，which，in turn does great harm to their health especially to their eyes．（高分句型一）
     In my personal view，the major task for students is to learn knowledge with various approaches，for which healthy body and mind is the base．（高分句型二）Therefore，they should focus more attention on their lessons and be less dependent on electronics．They should also make the best of their spare time to take sports，such as soccer，basketball，running and so on．Taking part in some rewarding activities like being volunteers to help the old is another good choice．（高分句型三）Besides，such interaction as talking or chatting with friends and classmates can reduce the dependence on the electronics psychologically．

點評 英語寫作是一項主觀性較強的測試題．它不僅考查學(xué)生的寫作基礎(chǔ)而且還考查學(xué)生在寫作過程中綜合運用語言的能力．在撰寫時要注意主謂語一致，時態(tài)呼應(yīng)，用詞貼切等．要提高英語寫作水平，需要兩方面的訓(xùn)練：一是語言基礎(chǔ)方面的訓(xùn)練，要有扎實的造句、翻譯等基本功，即用詞法、句法等知識造出正確無誤的句子；二是寫作知識和能力 方面的訓(xùn)練以掌握寫作方面的基本方法和技巧．